It’s understandable to feel like life is going downhill after getting a divorce. It might show in different ways, like not being interested in activities one used to enjoy, having trouble sleeping, or feeling intense guilt and hopelessness. Or maybe it shows through irritability, difficulty concentrating, or feeling uncharacteristically pessimistic. This sounds a lot like depression.
It is true that we all feel things differently, and depression is not an exception. But we can still work on overcoming its obstacles and improving our lives. Here are five ways to deal with depression, specifically after getting a divorce.
1. Sit With Your Feelings
This might not sound particularly appealing, but we need to be able to sit down and check in with ourselves. If we don’t know exactly how we’re feeling and why, then how can we deal with what’s causing us pain and begin to heal?
It’s important for us to work on not judging ourselves for whatever it is we may feel. Our emotions won’t always be pretty or charitable towards others, especially after a divorce. And that’s okay; they don’t need to be. But it’s important for us to know that.
We need to know where we’re standing in order to move forward. And our very first step toward that is to sit down and act as an observer of our own feelings and thoughts. Everything else is a different, future step in our recovery.
2. Be Patient
It’s very easy to judge ourselves for every wrong we think we’ve committed. But the truth is that if we want to work on ourselves and start enjoying life again, then we can’t criticize ourselves every step of the way. We are our own worst critics.
Recovery is hard. It’s important to be patient with ourselves. We need to be able to take every day as it comes and get ourselves through it. There’s no need to guilt ourselves over not being a perfect person every single day, especially when we are struggling so hard to keep ourselves afloat.
3. Do Some Self-care
When we’re feeling low every day in our lives, taking care of ourselves becomes difficult. We don’t have the energy to make full meals for ourselves. We might sleep in one day and end up having to rush to work without taking a shower. We might be too tired to take that shower in the evening and wake up late the next day. Rinse and repeat.
But taking care of ourselves is important. We don’t have to do big things when we don’t have the energy. Sometimes a little is all it takes. It can be something small like washing our face, eating our favorite dish, or maybe even calling a friend for a quick chat. It’s the little things that make life start looking up.
4. Avoid Arguments
Maybe our divorce wasn’t amicable, which isn’t ideal, especially if a kid is involved. We might not be able to keep our former spouse out of our lives completely, but that doesn’t mean we have to engage in arguments with them.
If we feel like things are starting to get tense and the situation might deescalate, we don’t have to stick around. Nothing stops us from saying goodbye, hanging up the phone, or leaving the room if we feel someone might lose their temper, whether it’s our spouse or us. In fact, it might be the best thing to do for everyone involved.
5. Reach Out for Help
The most important thing we need when we are struggling is a good support network. It’s important to accept the help people are offering us and to ask for it when we need it. Depression isn’t easy to cope with. Don’t be afraid to seek out professional help. Depression counseling is there to help. Make an appointment, and we can start working on healing and moving past this difficult period.